The Church Roster Theorem

Ryan and I came up with a new theorem, whose effects we have all felt before: the Church Roster Theorem.

The Church Roster Theorem states that only half of those in attendance will actually sign the roster. This is due largely to those guys who take forever signing the role and then have no clue where to pass it next, even though it was announced beforehand where it should be passed.

This newly discovered theorem has already been shown to be true. It explains why my first elder's quorum at BYU thought that I was a less-active member.

UT2004 Anyone?

So last night my two brain cells ran into each other and realized that the little Linux penguin on my Unreal Tournament 2004 case meant that it runs in Linux as well as Windows. I've installed it on my lappy and it runs perfectly fine. So now the question: does anyone else desire to have UT2004? It could be another 2 o'clock meeting possibility (not that I'm suggesting we dethrone quake3).

Crosswalk Rant

There are two categories of idiots here in Provo, and some people belong in both categories.

• Category 1: Drivers who do not care about crosswalks (or are too incompetent to recognize one).


• Category 2: Pedestrians who think that drivers care about crosswalks.

If you are in any one of these categories, then I strongly encourage you to lock yourself up before somebody gets killed. This was bound to happen sometime. Is anybody actually surprised that this woman got hit by a car? People keep putting the blame on either the pedestrians or the drivers. I say that they're both careless. I think the crosswalks should just be removed in order to protect suicidal pedestrians from braindead drivers. What do you think?

Random Thoughts

As I sit here bored out of my mind in CS 330, I realized that it's been quite a while since we've had a post. Perhaps we've all been too busy with our 2 o'clock meeting, but this is a travesty and should not have happened. So, I'm going to post some random thoughts I've had as late in an effort to spawn some comments and new threads...not that I have any good thoughts. I'm mostly going to ramble.

• Does everyone remember the BYU freshman that got lost in Y Mountain? Maybe I'm being a little mean, but how do you get lost on Y Mountain? I mean, all he had to do was walk down to all the buildings that are clearly viewable from Y Mountain. Even if he was on the east side of the mountain and couldn't see Provo, he could have at least walked down...you know, to get off the mountain? I think the funniest comment he made was, "It was one of the hardest climbs I’ve ever had to do and I just feel so grateful." One of the hardest climbs ever? Are you serious? Perhaps this guy is from Nebraska or something and isn't used to anything more than a gently rising slope. I'd like to see this kid go on a trip with Randall.
• I really, really like our room's new setup. It's so nice to be out of the middle of the room. Does anyone really want to move to another room?
• So far I'm thoroughly disappointed with the letters to the editor this week. Not a single letter has been funny or original. The last good letter that comes to mind is the one Ryan's sister wrote on February 22, 2006.
• Emacs is the worst text editor I've ever been forced to program in. Vim rocks.
• One word: Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz